In February, I lost my Daddy.
I miss him. We all miss him.I want him back. I want him to walk into this room and exasperate me with his fondness for starting a conversation in the middle.
I can't deal with the grief. I can't find the start of it, it is always here all over me. I feel completely blocked up by it and I haven't had a thought or said something that felt right at all since he went away.
[Daddy Holly and Jesse '89]
Sometimes I find that there is nothing to hold onto. Sometimes the remembering of his bravery during extended periods of abject suffering fills me up. When cancer takes your life, it takes it cruelly apart, piece by piece.
I'm hoping that writing this little bit is somewhere to start and will help me to unblock myself and maybe I can have real thoughts again.
I want to remember him.
Have you ever lost a parent?